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No not that gray lady!
That's the one!
Anywho, in honor of the release of "Superman Returns," I would like for us all to take a trip to "Bizzaro World."
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the area, "Bizzaro World" is an alternate dimension from the Superman comic books in which everything is the opposite of how it is in the real world.
In "Bizzaro World," the exit polls were correct and John Kerry was elected president after RFK Jr. swept into Ohio on election day and single handedly defeated hoards of evil robots, manufactured by the Diebold corporation and controlled by Kenneth Blackwell, who ordered them to hold African-American voters at gunpoint until they cast their vote for George W. Bush, or just gave up and went home.
After saving the day, Kennedy waved goodbye, got into his hybrid vehicle and in keeping with the Kennedy tradition, crashed into a hot dog cart.
It is a year-and-a-half into the Kerry presidency, and his approval ratings have fallen to an all time low after Kerry pulled U.S. troops out of Iraq opening the door for Iran to take over the entire region.
Once the U.S. was gone, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad proceeded to turn Israel into a huge holocaust themed amusement park called Little Satan Capitalist Pig-Dog Land. (9/11 Flight Simulator and Teacup Ride opening fall 2007)
In addition to this, based on the recommendation of Secretary of State George Soros, Kerry has fired Saddam Hussein’s defense team and replaced them with Vice President John Edwards.
President Kerry is hopping mad and not just because his wife is still allowed out in public, but also due to the horrible treatment which he has endured from the media since he came into office.
Kerry doesn't mind cable news leader MSNBC. They seem pretty fair and are absolutely destroying the competition with a stellar lineup, the centerpiece of which is the number one show on all of cable news "The Olbermann Factor."
It's that Fox News Channel that Kerry can't stand. He has loathed the network ever since they ran a story a few days before the election which claimed that Kerry had never actually been in Vietnam at all, but was instead in Paris, smoking a fatty with Jane Fonda.
FOX deserved the humiliation which befell the network when it was discovered that they had run with the story even though it was based on information which had been scribbled in purple Crayon on a paper placemat from Shoney’s.
It was later discovered that the scribbler was FNC's own Sean Hannity and what's worse...he hadn’t even completed the maze on the back, leading Shoney Bear to his pudding.
After this, FOX had falsely reported that guards at the prison at Guantánamo Bay had flushed pages of the Koran down the toilet in order to intimidate and anger Muslim detainees.
Kerry had actually bought into that one and used it as an excuse to close down the prison, apologize to the detainees, return their jackets strapped with dynamite and send them back to Afghanistan.
And now FOX had gone too far.
The network had received information on a top secret, perfectly legal government program which was being undertaken with appropriate congressional oversight.
FNC had learned that The White House had been tracking the finances of the terrorists so they could stop the flow of money going to people who use that money to blow up children and behead civilians.
Kerry had asked FOX not to broadcast the story. He simply assumed that the networks desire to defeat America's enemies outweighed their compulsive/primal urge to destroy his presidency.
Guess again. FOX went ahead with the story anyway letting the terrorists know exactly what Kerry and the terror-warriors in the White House, who are sworn to protect the United States were up to, and rendering this incredibly beneficial and effective program obsolete.
After all The FOX News Channel knew that it was the Kerry administration, not those Islamo-fascist who enjoy setting things on fire when they don't like a comic strip, who were really the greatest threat to national security and "Bizzaro World" peace.
And besides, if the policy came out of the Kerry White House there must be something nefarious going down, right? Even if there was no evidence whatsoever of illegal activity, something will come out eventually. The same way that it eventually came out that Kerry's main political advisor, Rarl Kove had intentionally leaked the name of that CIA agent. Man, thank God he got indicted.
John Kerry was so angry that he was turning orange and he hadn't even used the tan-in-a-can spray since the campaign.
To the delight of his supporters Kerry publicly scolded the FOX News Channel, lambasting them for undermining the War on Terror.
Liberal activists and Kerry supporters didn't stop there.
"Air America" radio, which in "Bizzaro World" was thriving financially and laying the groundwork for the nation's emerging ultra-liberal majority, described what FOX had done as "treasonous" and called for the imprisonment of Rupert Murdoch and Shepard Smith.
"Daily Kos" and the other liberal bloggers called out conservatives who had been denying for years that FOX had a right-wing bias, but those hypocritical right-wing nut-jobs just pretended as if nothing had happened. Some even defended FNC's right to go ahead with the story, claiming that freedom of the press gave FOX the right....no the duty, to go ahead with the story and let the public know, even if it did give an advantage to those who indiscriminately kill Americans, and fly planes into buildings in the name of Allah.
Groups like Move-On.org and Code Pink organized marches all over the country to protest FOX and John Gibson was burned in effigy throughout the streets of San Francisco.
The New York Herald, the paper or record in "Bizarro" America expressed it outrage at FOX News on it's editorial page, saying that the program was essential to national security and that FNC should be ashamed of itself for putting it's own political agenda before the safety of the American people.
When word got out about what FOX had done, “Bizzaro” America decided that enough was enough. News watchers all over the nation called and demanded that their cable and satellite providers drop The FOX News Channel from their line-up.
With its credibility destroyed and it's anti-Kerry bias completely exposed, The FOX News Channel was forced to make a public apology and beg the nation's forgiveness for their irresponsible behavior.
Thus, President Kerry was given a bit more wiggle room to do what he needed to do in order to fight The War on Terror.
He then proceeded to change his mind and asked all former Gitmo prisoners to return to Guantánamo Bay and turn themselves in.
Ok folks back to reality!
Fortunately, we don't live in "Bizzaro World." John Kerry is not president and never will be and a sizable portion of the population still gets its news from The Fox News Channel, which despite constant criticism from the left, has yet to do anything nearly as atrocious, or show as clear a bias against a sitting commander-in-chief or any politician for that matter, as the New York Times did this week, and has since Bush was elected.
Bush was absolutely right to rip into the Times as he did, just as a President Kerry would be justified in his outrage if FOX had done something similar.
The New York Times needs to be held accountable for its behavior. I don't think that they need to be brought up on charges of treason, but cancelled subscriptions and a shakeup in the staff-room would be a good start.
Furthermore, if this level of irresponsibility and disregard for national security among the left-leaning media is to remain as prevalent as it is, then the Bush Administration must become more secretive with information regarding The War on Terror, and not the opposite as some have suggested.
Openness in government be damned. When the stakes are as high as they are, the government has every right to withhold certain information from the public and keep those who seek to expose that information quiet. It's known in legal circles as prior restraint and the Bush Administration should not be afraid to assert it if necessary.
Much has been made of late as to the idea that the Bush Administration has become intimidated by the antagonistic left-wing press. Hopefully, the shot across the bow of the New York Times which the president fired on Monday will serve as a clear message that the administration will no longer stand idly by while a large portion of the media undermines The War on Terror.
This may also serve to restore faith in Bush among his base, who have been waiting for him to give certain media types a good talking to for a long time. It may help those poll numbers keep ticking up as well.
The New York Times - SLAP!
Whoever leaked the information about the program in the first place - SLAP! SLAP!
and just for good measure:
John Kerry - SLAP!
Stay out of "Bizzaro World" people.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
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Posted by Falling Panda at 11:56 AM
Sunday, June 25, 2006
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If there was a doubt in anyone’s mind that Congressman John Murtha had become firmly entrenched with the likes of Cindy Sheehan and The New York Times, joining the ranks of those Americans who are actively rooting against the United States in Iraq, those doubts were vanquished on Friday when Murtha said that the American presence in Iraq is more dangerous to world peace than nuclear threats from North Korea or Iran.
Now, any honest, clear thinking American can see the ridiculous nature of this statement, but Murtha's moral relativism should give Republicans hope for what has so far been an uphill battle to retain the House and the Senate this November.
Murtha has openly stated that he wants to be the Majority leader of the House if the Democratic Party is successful in taking the body over.
While the dissatisfaction with the GOP is evident in polling, the idea that the American people would give power to an individual as confused as Murtha, by indirectly voting for like minded Democratic candidates is far too ludicrous of a scenario for most of the those dissatisfied swing voters who will decide this election. They just have to be informed as to what Murtha and his partner, fellow "cut and run" advocate Nancy Pelosi are capable of and the positions which they hope to obtain.
Murtha is a politician in the mold of John Kerry. Not simply due to the fact that he is a huge jerk, but also because he has been propped up by the party as a "hawk" because of his past service in the military. Americans didn't fall for that FORMER SOLDIER + DEMOCRAT = LEADER WITH GOOD IDEAS equation in '04 and I don’t think that they will fall for it in '06.
"Hawk" is not the term that I would choose to define a guy like John Murtha. Nor would I use the term "dove." No, the birds I would use to describe this unfortunate choice of a spokesman for the Democratic Party would be either the ostrich, which only takes its head out of the sand in order to run away at top speeds at the first sign of danger, or the Dodo.
While I wish no physical harm to Murtha, I do wish that like the Dodo, people who share his irresponsible views in regards to the War on Terror and massively important geopolitical issues will soon become as prevalent in congress as the bird is on the planet Earth.
Posted by Falling Panda at 7:57 PM
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
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A great article by Dennis Prager, a conservative radio talk-show host who I consider to be one of the most intelligent and honest guys on the air. Do yourself a favor, find out where he is on your dial and learn something.
June 20, 2006
Why Liberals Fear Global Warming More Than Conservatives Do
By Dennis Prager
Observers of contemporary society will surely have noted that a liberal is far more likely to fear global warming than a conservative. Why is this?
After all, if the science is as conclusive as Al Gore, Time, Newsweek, The New York Times and virtually every other spokesman of the Left says it is, conservatives are just as likely to be scorched and drowned and otherwise done in by global warming as liberals will. So why aren't non-leftists nearly as exercised as leftists are? Do conservatives handle heat better? Are libertarians better swimmers? Do religious people love their children less?
The usual liberal responses -- to label a conservative position racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic or the like -- obviously don't apply here. So, liberals would have to fall back on the one remaining all-purpose liberal explanation: "big business." They might therefore explain the conservative-liberal divide over global warming thus: Conservatives don't care about global warming because they prefer corporate profits to saving the planet.
But such an explanation could not explain the vast majority of conservatives who are not in any way tied into the corporate world (like this writer, who has no stocks and who, moreover, regards big business as amoral as leftists do).
No, the usual liberal dismissals of conservatives and their positions just don't explain this particularly illuminating difference between liberals and conservatives.
Here are six more likely explanations:
-- The Left is prone to hysteria. The belief that global warming will destroy the world is but one of many hysterical notions held on the Left. As noted in a previous column devoted to the Left and hysteria, many on the Left have been hysterical about the dangers of the PATRIOT Act and the NSA surveillance of phone numbers (incipient fascism); secondhand smoke (killing vast numbers of people); drilling in the remotest area of Alaska (major environmental despoliation); and opposition to same-sex marriage (imminent Christian theocracy).
-- The Left believes that if The New York Times and other liberal news sources report something, it is true. If the cover of Time magazine says, "Global Warming: Be Worried, Very Worried," liberals get worried, very worried, about global warming.
It is noteworthy that liberals, one of whose mottos is "question authority," so rarely question the authority of the mainstream media. Now, of course, conservatives, too, often believe mainstream media. But conservatives have other sources of news that enable them to achieve the liberal ideal of questioning authority. Whereas few liberals ever read non-liberal sources of information or listen to conservative talk radio, the great majority of conservatives are regularly exposed to liberal news, liberal editorials and liberal films, and they have also received many years of liberal education.
-- The Left believes in experts. Of course, every rational person, liberal or conservative, trusts the expertise of experts -- such as when experts in biology explain the workings of mitochondria, or when experts in astronomy describe the moons of Jupiter. But for liberals, "expert" has come to mean far more than greater knowledge in a given area. It now means two additional things: One is that non-experts should defer to experts not only on matters of knowledge, but on matters of policy, as well. The second is that experts possess greater wisdom about life, not merely greater knowledge in their area of expertise.
That is why liberals are far more likely to be impressed when a Nobel Prize winner in, let us say, physics signs an ad against war or against capital punishment. The liberal is bowled over by the title "Nobel laureate." The conservative is more likely to wonder why a Nobel laureate in physics has anything more meaningful to say about war than, let us say, a taxi driver.
-- People who don't confront the greatest evils will confront far lesser ones. Most humans know the world is morally disordered -- and socially conscious humans therefore try to fight what they deem to be most responsible for that disorder. The Right tends to fight human evil such as communism and Islamic totalitarianism. The Left avoids confronting such evils and concentrates its attention instead on socioeconomic inequality, environmental problems and capitalism. Global warming meets all three of these criteria of evil. By burning fossil fuels, rich countries pollute more, the environment is being despoiled and big business increases its profits.
-- The Left is far more likely to revere, even worship, nature. A threat to the environment is regarded by many on the Left as a threat to what is most sacred to them, and therefore deemed to be the greatest threat humanity faces. The cover of Vanity Fair's recent "Special Green Issue" declared: "A Graver Threat Than Terrorism: Global Warming." Conservatives, more concerned with human evil, hold the very opposite view: Islamic terror is a far graver threat than global warming.
-- Leftists tend to fear dying more. That is one reason they are more exercised about our waging war against evil than about the evils committed by those we fight. The number of Iraqis and others Saddam Hussein murdered troubles the Left considerably less than even the remote possibility than they may one day die of global warming (or secondhand smoke).
One day, our grandchildren may ask us what we did when Islamic fascism threatened the free world. Some of us will say we were preoccupied with fighting that threat wherever possible; others will be able to say they fought carbon dioxide emissions. One of us will look bad
Posted by Falling Panda at 6:24 PM
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Two impressive Governors who will not be running for president:
and one bad soldier:
Posted by Falling Panda at 11:56 PM