Thursday, August 07, 2008

Randy Newman's Crazy Liberal Rant

With the release of his 700th album, singer songwriter Randy Newman may be showing some signs of senility.

His latest CD contains this gem, a grandparent-esque rant, in which the respected historian, geo-political expert and the artist who gave us classics such as Short People, informs the world that our American empire is crumbling around us.

Now, we all expect this kind of silliness from the entertainment business, but check out what he says about Supreme Court justices, Alito, Scalia and Thomas near the end of the song.


That's borderline right there Randy.

A Few Words In Defense Of Our Country

I’d like to sayA few wordsIn defense of our country
Whose people aren't bad
Nor are they mean
Now, the leaders we have
While they're the worst that we've had
Are hardly the worst
This poor world has seen
Let's turn history's pages, shall we?

Take the Caesars, for example
Why, with the first few of them
They were sleeping with their sister,
stashing little boys in swimming pools,
and burning down the city
And one of 'em, one of 'em appointed his own horse to be Counsel of the Empire
That's like vice president or something

That's not a very good example right now, is it?

But here's one:Spanish Inquisition
That's a good one
Put people in a terrible positionI don't even like to think about it
Well, sometimes I like to think about it

Just a few words
In defense of our country
Whose time at the top
Could be coming to an end
Now, we don't want their love
And respect at this point's pretty much out of the question
But in times like these
We sure could use a friend

HitlerStalinMen who need no introduction
King Leopold of Belgium, that's right
Everyone thinks he's so great
Well, he owned the CongoHe tore it up too
Took the diamondsTook the silverTook the goldYou know what he left 'em with?


You know, a president once said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
Now it seems like we're supposed to be afraidIt's patriotic, in factColor-coded
What we supposed to be afraid of?
Why, of being afraidThat's what terror means, doesn't it?
That's what it used to mean

You know, it pisses me off a little that this Supreme Court's gonna outlive me
Couple young Italian fellas and a brother on the Court now too
But I defy you, anywhere in the world, to find me two Italians as tightass as the two Italians we got

And as for the brotherWell, Pluto's not a planet anymore either

The end of an empire Is messy at best
And this empire's ending
Like all the rest
Like the Spanish ArmadaAdrift on the sea
We're adrift in the land of the braveAnd the home of the freeGoodbyeGoodbyeGoodbye

I may be way off here, but is Newman implying that Clarence Thomas isn't really black anymore, becasue of his political views? Did he just say that in his mind, Thomas lost his status as a "brother" in the same way that Pluto lost its status as a planet?

Oh man! You are so lucky that no one takes you seriously anymore Randy or your face would be plastered all over O'Reilly's dart board.

Crazy old Randy. America's ambassador to the world.

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