FALLING PANDA: Rally to restore sanity

Let's get something straight right off the bat. This was a LIBERAL rally. Jon Stewart may have promoted it as and intended for it to be a "non-partisan" event aimed at mocking hyperbolic ideologues on both sides, but that's not how it turned out.

The event was totally co-opted by the Left, whose interest groups took advantage of the "moderate" label that both Stewart and many in the MSM bestowed upon the rally before it even took place.

The hard leftist slant of the rally was on full display in the signs that rally attendees were carrying. Many of the signs were bipartisan attempts at humor that succeeded more often than not. However, at least half of the signs specifically targeted conservatives. Some in an angry, classless fashion that Stewart himself would probably have condemned.

Here is a sample of some of the more offensive and ridiculous signage that I saw on Saturday.

1.Republicans as Hitler

Jon Stewart specifically said that the rally was intended to mock the people who use rallies as opportunities to portray those that they disagree with as the Fuhrer--and Rightfully so. Ideologues on both sides have been waving signs that show George W. Bush and Barack Obama with Hitler mustaches for years--and it's incredibly stupid. One of most popular catchphrases of the entire "restoring sanity" movement was "I disagree with you, but I'm pretty sure you're not Hitler." But, sure enough there they were. People carrying large signs showing members of the Republican leadership with scary Hitler 'staches. Of course, the intention of these signs could have been to compare these G.O.P. favorites to Charlie Chaplin, but I seriously doubt it.

2. Glenn Beck is a Rapist

Say what you will about Glenn Beck. Seriously! Say anything you want! That was a big theme on Saturday. You couldn't walk five feet without seeing a sign viciously attacking the controversial Tea Party leader who had managed to bring hundreds of thousands of people to the mall a month earlier for what was an actual non-partisan rally to "restore honor." But little did I know that all of Beck’s talk about faith and charity is really a cover for the fact that he is a rapist who kills people. One rally attendee was anxious to bring attention to this fact. Another was apparently one of Beck's victims of who was graciously spared after being violated by the Fox News personality.

3. That Being Said.....
The fact that Glenn Beck's genitalia is apparently miniscule must make raping people more difficult. Maybe the reason he murdered that poor woman was because she laughed at his junk. Either way, this sign really classed up the joint. Katie Manos must be really proud that her friend is so politically sophisticated.

4.“Truthers”

Any time large groups of leftists converge on a location you can pretty much guarantee that the despicable 9/11 truth movement will be represented in some capacity. These morons are still pushing the idea that the U.S. government was behind the 9/11 attacks, ordering the deaths of 3,000 of their fellow Americans in order to raise flag sales or something like that. Again, Stewart pointedly mocked “truthers” in the lead up to the rally, singling them out as examples of what's wrong with America's political discourse. Apparently the “truthers” didn't get the message--probably due to the fact that most of them probably can't figure out how to work the remote for their TV set.

5.Tea-Bagger References

Nothing raises the level of political discourse like implying that your political opponents like to put their scrotums in people's mouths. Pretty much everyone on the Left from bloggers to the president himself has been referring to Tea Partiers by using this sexually explicit moniker since the movement's inception. Thus proving that a significant portion of liberal America's brains never developed passed the level of a 13 year-old boy.

6. Sad Elephant Poop
This one confused me. Is this guy's sign implying that the Republicans--represented by the elephant--are going to eat the American people and then excrete their heads? I mean, of course that would put a frown on anyone's face assuming that you lived through the process of being eaten and digested by either a Republican or a pacaderm.

I think it's more likely that the guy was trying to say that the Republicans do things that are equivalent to an elephant pooping on the heads of the American people and sometimes they also steal thier bodies. But if that's what he was trying to get across, he should’ve made the poop bigger and more poop like.

7. Legalize it Dude!

One of the most popular pet causes of the rally attendees was the California ballot initiative to legalize marijuana for recreational purposes. Signs like these were everywhere. But, based on the smell wafting from the crowd and the fact that there were hardly any cops nearby, it seems pretty obvious that the proposition itself is totally unnecessary.

8. Corporate America is bad but it also provided me with the opportunity to show everyone how much I hate it.
I've seen this sign before. It's quite popular with the segment of the Left that believes that big corporations control every aspect of our lives.

Of course, no one would have seen this guy's sign at all had Viacom--the corporation that owns Comedy Central--not thrown down the money to hold the rally in the first place.

Had it not been for a big, evil corporation this guy would be sitting out on the street corner waving his sign all by himself as passersby looked upon him with sympathy in the knowledge that the only people who go wave signs by themselves on street corners are mentally ill.

This guy should really write Viacom a thank you letter for making him look less crazy.

Liberals are Smart!

9. Signs With Too Many Words

Ok look. I have things to do. There are a lot of signs to see at this rally. I don't have time to stop dead in my tracks and risk being trampled by hordes of people so I can read your sign that is roughly the length of a master's thesis.

You're not that clever. Pick a few words that rhyme like the very popular "Sanity Not Hannity" sign that I saw roughly 1000 times and move along.

10. Obama is the Sane One

This was a "Rally to Restore Sanity." The Tea Party was clearly the target, so if the Tea Party is "insane" and the Tea Party is made up of conservatives then it only stands to reason that the opposite of the Tea Party is the epitome of "sanity." Who is the Tea Party movement against? President Obama, of course. His liberalism is "sanity." Like Stewart himself--many of the rally attendees were clearly to the left of Obama. So to these Castro style progressives Obama looks like a moderate. In essence, this was exactly what the Left hoped to accomplish by making Stewart's rally their own.

That's why Ariana Huffington bussed people in by the thousands. That's why Oprah and Obama both endorsed this thing. They were trying to make themselves look like the moderates when in fact they are to the left of most people in this country. It was clever. But no matter how much the MSM fawns over Stewart's rally and labels it as a gathering of “reasonable” Americans politely asking "Can't we all just get along?" with one loud voice, the truth is that most of the people who showed up at this thing despise conservatives and everything they stand for.

But not to worry. In the eyes of a majority of Americans the real "Rally to Restore Sanity" is happening tomorrow.

Honorable Mentions
I have no idea what this sign means. I’m sure it made perfect sense to the guy holding it though.

What is Vampire Palin holding in her left hand? Is that meat? Why is Palin holding meat?